Summer Doesn't Have to be What You Think it Should Be
Posted to FOOD & DRINK by Lisa Kimball Monday, June 2, 2008 11:11______________________________________________________________________________________________
Yes, its that time of the year folks, the ice cream man is in town. It’s summer time and that means kiddies awaken to the hypnotizing sound of ice cream tunes to run and catch the van so they can viciously tear into a strawberry short cake bars, those softball mits with a gumball, what have you. Grinning sugar stuffed faces, sticky hands and garbage all over the ground you think would be reason enough to avoid the ice cream truck, but the fun doesn’t stop there.
The ice cream man himself is a giant. He’s unnaturally stuffed into a tiny van with poor ventilation. All day long he stares out his tiny window bending in a way that even Gumby would have trouble with, just to serve cold treats to his demanding clients.
The sheer thought of the ice cream truck and what lingers around it gives me chills, enough of a chill to pass on ice cream this summer.
Deez nutz aint for touchin’
posted to CULTURE by Lisa Kimball
Sunday, June 1, 2008 10:08pm
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I was walking out into the Parkland parking lot today singing to merry songs to myself and dreaming of daisies when I was confronted with something I had never yet seen before. At first I thought, ‘naw, couldn’t be’, so I went in for a closer investigation. I knelt down to the back of a fire-engine red Ford F150, and sure enough I wasn’t just seeing things, in my hand I held a pair of balls, realistic yes, but real no. A brief moment went by with me knelt down, one elbow on my knee and under my chin, pondering and the other hand holding a pair fondling of beautifully crafted polyethylene balls.
When I hear, “ don’t you even think about it, get those hands off my bulls balls!”
I turned around and stood up to see an a man approximately up to my chin in height looking at me with the same face my third grade teacher gave me when I was caught showing some kids my privates, the ‘ugh uh, you don’t that’ face.
The man explained to me that these “bulls balls” were his lucky charms, like a rabbits foots, except no rubbing involved, just dangling. After apologizing and explaining my curiosities he padded me on the back and we parted ways.
Just one question remains in my mind, will bulls balls of the future have hair?
Well, back to dreaming of daisies.
Check out bullsballs.com to get your own pair, I wouldn’t recommend fondling anyone else’s(weird).
